Dear Ms. Manners,
Friday, March 30, 2007
| Dear Ms. Manners, Thank you for your reply to my dilemma concerning the proper way to jab a fork into a forehead. Your wisdom was priceless. I do understand that it is impolite to jab without notification and I will take that advice. I appreciate your time in finding out that the most polite way would be to announce my intentions and then proceed with the jab. On my next encounter, I will in fact announce before proceeding. Thank you for your help. Sincerely, Off to Fork Someone in Kentucky |
posted by Sonya @ 3/30/2007 03:09:00 PM, ,
Dear Ms. Manners,
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
| Dear Ms. Manners, I know that most people write to you about their love lives or family troubles. However, I do not have any of those problems currently to speak of. Mine is actually more of just a general question. You see, people are really getting on my nerves lately. I have tried to politely pretend that they do not exist, but they are like flies when you are trying to eat.....just very annoying no matter how many times you slap them. So, I guess my question is, How do I politely jab a fork in their foreheads? I want it to be polite, so as to have a relationship in the future, in the case that I need to use them for something, but to also get the message across currently. I did look for an etiquette book at the local bookstore but was unsuccessful at finding the appropriate section detailing the polite way of jabbing a fork into a particular forehead. Thank you for your time and any advice would be appreciated. Forking up in Kentucky |
posted by Sonya @ 3/28/2007 05:42:00 PM, ,
An Afternoon At The Window...
| Last weekend was a beautiful weekend here in Kentucky. The weather was amazing. My typical weekends include most of day light hours spent in the lab where I do research. However, this past weekend, I needed time to study for an exam that was earlier this week. And since I am always thinking what is best for my course work (insert chuckle here), I decided that I could just as effectively study at my apartment. I made my way home after a few short hours in the lab. Upon reaching home, I prepared my study space at my desk. There is a nice big window that overlooks the parking lot and towards the back of 2 other buildings. My little brain decided this would be the perfect spot, with the window open, a nice breeze coming through and not much for distractions..... I think we often forget that, when not in the privacy of our own homes....people can see the things that we do. In most cases, no one would care enough to pay attention. I, on the other hand, was efficiently avoiding studying and did in fact notice. Distraction #1: Enter stage left...little Hispanic male. When I say 'little' I am referring to about 5 ft and that may be being generous on the vertical inspection. Luckily enough for all the ladies out there, he does not have a Napoleon complex and proves this by driving a Ford Expedition with large tires almost twice as tall as he is. Entering the vehicle is quite a distraction. This is where you see him reach up for the door handle and open the door. He then pulls himself up onto the running boards to catapult himself inside the cab of the vehicle. That alone was interesting enough, but it gets better. Not only does Mr. Shortstuff entertain me with his mighty vehicle, I have decided that he is very lonely (or very weird). You see, Mr. Shortstuff is in LOVE with his vehicle. Starting very early in the afternoon, he sat and stared at his love. He laid next to it while talking on the phone, ran his hands down her windows and doors. He even opened doors periodically as if just to say 'I care'. He then proceeded to sit and just watch her over a long period of time. I must admit that I have never seen a man run his hand over a bumper in an intimate way before. You wouldn't believe it unless you saw it too. Apparently he didn't find this at all weird. In fact, I think he felt a pulling while they were separated. He would disappear into his apartment for only moments at a time, to quickly return to his one true love. As you can imagine, this was all very entertaining. I did not get much studying done and laughed out loud quite a few times. The show was pretty spectacular. But with every show, you must wait for the phenomenal ending to upstage the performance. Mr. Shortstuff had a trick up his sleeve. Just as I thought he was going to become boring, Mr. Shordstuff opened his driver door, hopped up on the running bored and looked at himself in the mirror. I am not just discussing a passing glance to see if there a leaf of lettuce in your teeth. This was the full blown, look myself up and down as much as I can see in a tiny mirror attached to my door, kinda stare. And just so you know how much he loves.....um.....him.....I watched this little 'glance'. He stared and checked himself out for no less than 15 minutes. He smiled and would turn his head to see if he had the 'catch your breath look'. And to not let me down, he tried multiple smiles and then just decided starting at himself was enough. He didn't need to show off for........himself. All in all, he was very amusing and I wasted at least a good hour or two of study time. Till next weekend at THE WINDOW (cue daytime drama show music). |
posted by Sonya @ 3/28/2007 05:15:00 PM, ,
The Caving Rescue Expedition
Monday, March 19, 2007
| The Caving Trips..... Saturday, March 17 was different from the usual Caving trips our lab has taken in recent months. In the usual fashion, the van drives to pick up students (mostly graduate) and heads south to the Somerset, KY area. Our plans usually include seeing the many wonders that can be found underground and then capturing a few cave crayfish to be housed back in the lab at the University of Kentucky. My advisor and I are interested in looking at similarities and differences between surface crayfish and the blind, pigmentless cave crayfish found in small pools below ground. After exploring, I and a few others would collect a few of these crayfish for transportation back to the lab, the collection process taking no more than 20-30 minutes. While the population was abundant, we searched for the larger ones and excluded any females that may be gravid (carrying eggs). These trips were fun and exciting as caving often is. Until this past Saturday, I have always enjoyed myself. Why I care..... My research looks at environmental and physiological stressors that may differ in these two species. So you could say that I have developed a respect and admiration for these little creatures. Working with them daily brings about a fondness that you can't possibly escape. Why the need for the rescue..... The water level being dropped in Lake Cumberland has caused those small pools that these crayfish have lived in for possibly 20 years or more to dry up. The remaining pools are shrinking as we speak and crayfish density is increasing. Anyone that understands crayfish know that high density cannot be maintained. They will and do eat each other, especially in areas of high density. So, when one wonders why the crayfish have disappeared and no carcases are to be found, this is your answer. It is truly sad to see once heavily populated areas to have very few left and in many cases, none to be found. We have lost crayfish that have survived day in and day out in many environmental conditions, only to be wiped out by a man made dam. Why you should care..... The press was there as a environmental factor piece (here). I hope this helps to open peoples eyes to the impact we have on the environment around us. Not only is that area impacted, but research that could further our understanding in chemo-sensory differences, as well as environmental effects has been compromised. But more importantly, we have lost hundreds, if not more, native crayfish from our caves. The rescue.... The rescue was a success for the ones we could find. They are now housed in small pools with food available. Many may think that these crayfish are lucky, which is true, but I feel sad for them. They are living in a man-made environment far removed from nature. Here is where they will stay for a minimum of 7 years until the dam can be rebuilt. We are giving them a fighting chance, but again, only time will tell the true impact of human behavior. |
Labels: Crayfish, Environment
posted by Sonya @ 3/19/2007 11:18:00 AM, ,
The Secret.....
| Summer was finally here. She was so excited. It was time for skirts and dresses and the ultimate test of will, the bathing suit. After so many years of not looking ‘good’ she was finally ready for the ‘new’ her. This was going to be her summer where she could finally show off all her hard work for all to see. Of course, she was going to take small baby steps of showing off to the world. After all, she has never been one to ‘those’ girls. That warm spring day, she puts on her new skirt. It fits perfect. She feels so great in her beautiful new spring yellow skirt that really accents her figure. To go with this new favorite skirt, she wears a brand new white and yellow tank top with the neck going lower than anything she has ever worn but not showing too much at all. In all actuality, it is still modest by most of the world’s standards. But she loves it and feels great. Today is going to be a great day. Now is the moment where she is leaping into the unknown. She is about to do something she has never done before. She checks herself in the mirror and finally makes the decision that she is so worried about. Just the thought makes her blush. She is firm with herself, no chickening out, she is going to do it. She is going to wear thongs. The underwear line just takes away from the skirt and she has worked to hard for it to look like this. She is taking the plunge. Inwardly smiling, she pulls out those thongs she bought to be ‘naughty’ but never had the guts to wear. She smiles to herself, and snickers every time she imagines sitting down in those and losing the strip of cloth forever. She giggles, if anyone could hear her thoughts, she’d be so embarrassed. She often imagined herself joking with people saying she was ‘flossing’ right now and no one even knew it. That one always made her giggle, sometimes even out loud. Ok she says out loud and holds them up. She is going to do it this time. This is almost as risky as taking the plunge off the cliff wondering if your parachute was going to open. And yet, this is different. She knows that no one will know. This is definelty safer. It will be a secret, some how finding comfort in that. It will be her little secret that she can smile about all day. This is one of her things that scare her and she is going to do it this time. She worries of course. This is dangerous stuff for her. What if it chafes or becomes uncomfortable. It’s not like you can just adjust it and all is better. No, she tells herself, we are going to do this. My skirt is beautiful, the sky is beautiful and this day is going to be good. I am going to wear my new heels that will look so good with this outfit and I am going to look radiant. Besides, no one will know my little secret which will make it all better. She slips them on and says the feeling will go away when she gets used to them. Now, she focuses on putting on the shoes and doing a once check over in the mirror. Perfect. She inwardly beams and admits to herself that today is going to be great. A perfect day of shopping with some friends, lunch out in this beautiful weather where all the locals go to see and be seen. She was going to impress and be remembered today. That was just how it was going to be. Time to go. She grabs her cute little purse to go with the already perfect outfit, checked to make sure she had her keys and wallet and locked the door to have a wonderful day. The drive in her car with the sunroof open and all her favorite songs playing just further proved this day was going to be great. A few minutes later, she pulls up to where her friends are waiting. They all comment on her new style and she beams. They spend the next hour shopping and having so much fun she hopes this day doesn’t end. They all agree it is lunch time and off they go to the trendiest place full of guys that couldn't be any cuter if she asked. They sit at an outside table surrounded by people talking and laughing the afternoon away. She is happy. Even her little secret is turning out to be perfect. She looks great and is doing the daring thing she has always wanted to do and no one knows it. That is the best of all. She sits with her friends and they sip drinks in the warm afternoon. But of course after many glasses of water, nature is calling. This is actually a good thing she thinks, since she can now go and strut her stuff in front of all those men she had her eye on. She gets up, confidence high and makes her way to the bathroom. That done, on her way out she checks her makeup in the small mirror above the sink. Everything is perfect. Today is great. She quickly smoothes down her skirt, making sure its not all wrinkled in the front. Nope, looks good. Now it’s time to strut her stuff again. She even has this new little walk that shows off her legs nicely. They are going to notice and this makes her smiles. Here we go. She steps out and starts to walk through the restaurant. She happily notices that they are turning to look at her as she walks by. More importantly, they are smiling and staring at her. She smiles back and gives a little wave. Now she is floating. This is what she has been waiting all day for. Every man in the room is watching her walk away with a big grin on his face. They want her and she knows it. Yes, she is going to be remembered by these men. So just to show them what they are missing she sways her hips a little more as she walks back out to her friends. As she turns back to the way she came, she notices that a few of the men have even leaned out the door to look at her some more. Yep, she’s that good. Mentally she is patting herself on the back. Oh yeah, they want her. She approaches the table and walks around to her seat. All of a sudden her best friend jumps up and runs over to where she is standing. She just knows her friend is going to talk about all the men watching her walk away. Now is time to gloat, after all she deserves it. Today is her day. With that big grin on her face, she is about to tell them the incredible moments she experienced, but her best friend plasters herself behind her. Now that is strange. She calmly asks what she is doing, and her friend leans in and says…. “Honey, now don’t freak out, but you skirt is tucked in your thongs and you just walked through a bar full of men showing off your butt cheeks. And I mean showing off. The skirt was bunched up and really gave a nice view.” This was horror. Not only did she just let the world know she was wearing thongs, but she had strutted and smiled, Oh my, she had even waved. And all that time, she didn’t know that she was giving a show for free. That was definitely going to be a day they’d all remember…..for all the wrong reasons….damn……so much for her secret. Not so secret anymore. |
Labels: Embarrassment, Humor, Secrets
posted by Sonya @ 3/19/2007 07:58:00 AM, ,
The Signs.....
Sunday, March 18, 2007
| Your sitting in the library wasting time not doing anything important. You see her across the room. She's kinda cute, someone you'd look at twice. For the last few minutes, you've gotten the feeling that she has been glancing up at you every so often. At first, you wondered if she was really looking at you, but now you are sure. Over and over again she glances your way. You now know that she wants you to walk over to her and use one of your smooth lines. You're going to make her swoon but catch her before she falls. You now mentally ready yourself -- oh there she goes again, she checked you out. Your getting ready to make your move. But first, you check your hair, smooth your eyebrows (not understanding why they do that in the movies ), check your breath (knowing you look retarded breathing in your hand). But anyway....your clothes look good, shoes tied...you look up...and she's looking again, but only for a second as she quickly goes back to scribbling. Definitely no mistaking it now. Confidence in check, you see the path is clear to her, you stand up, straighten your clothes, doing the mental check once more. Trying your best James Dean/John Wayne smooth strut you mentally rehearse your plan to walk right up to her and sweep her off her feet. She looks again and quickly looks down. You inwardly smile to yourself, just knowing she is waiting for you to approach. I mean how could she not, she has looked at you so many times in the last 20 minutes that you haves lost count, though you did try. Talk about enthusiasm getting in the way. Here you go, meeting the woman that could be the greatest thing on earth. She looks up again right before you start to approach. No turning back now, one foot and then the other, moving in on her like she's prey and your the predator. She doesn't know that she's about to swoon at your feet. Once again you give a small smile at your sheer genius dialogue she just wishes she could hear. You have her in your sights...only a couple or more feet until you make her day. You approach her table, lightly rap your knuckles to get her attention. After all you have seen this confident move in the movies many times and it always works. Your knuckle rap has brought her head up, you expect a beaming smile. She makes eye contact.... Your breathe catches waiting to hear her flowery words, she opens her mouth and says.... "What do you want?" in a very not nice tone. Off guard, you try of figure out what has happened. Maybe you heard her wrong. You try to be smooth, giving her a debonair smile and casually tell her that you noticed her checking you out for the last half hour and decided to come and say hello. You patiently wait for her to smile and start that conversation you have been running in your mind for last 30 minutes. You tell yourself that the look she has on her face is not what you expected but maybe you caught her off guard. She laughs. Not the quiet flirtatious laugh, but the tears running down her face, slap the table kind of laugh. And because you think you missed the punchline but don't want to look stupid, you laugh too. Then while pointing, still laughing, she informs you that she never noticed you sitting there, she was just keeping an eye on the clock so she isn't late for her exam. You face heats up and she laughs even harder. You didn't miss the joke, she was laughing at you...and you really missed the signs. That one, you got wrong....big time. |
Labels: Dating, Embarrassment, Humor
posted by Sonya @ 3/18/2007 11:43:00 AM, ,
The correct choice....
This man. He knows her. He knew her when she was young trying to figure out who she was. He knew her when she made her 100th mistake with all those other guys. The amazing guy that he was, stood by her when she was growing into the person she was going to be. They shared a love. This love was not the passion-filled days and nights type of love, but it was love that made a person feel as if you mattered. A feeling that no matter what life throws at you, you would be OK, together. He was her rock when she felt that the world was spinning to fast and she was losing her hold. They were young.
The story began like any other story. They met through a common friend. This friend was someone they both liked, but upon meeting, they just seemed to have an instant connection. Many of those early afternoons were spent talking about anything and everything. As the afternoons passed, they became closer and those deep dark secrets that she kept had a way of working to the surface. He understood her. He let her feel that she had a right to feel the way she did. No one had ever let her feel that way. She felt like she was home.
You may think this is a love story where they celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary together.
This is not the case. You may say it is her fault that they did not end up together in the beautiful end. But, you must first understand one thing. She could not lose him. Life is not fair and she did not win very often. This she understood and accepted. When you are young, those loves rarely last like in the fairy book-endings. The real world shows two people who love each other on a level far removed from many people. But everyday life slowly takes that way until a flash forward ahead many years later shows them in totally new lives without one another.
This she couldn't bare. She had so few people that she could hold on to that this was not going to be one of her mistakes. So, the only possible thing to do was keep him in the place that they started out in, never exploring the possibilities.
So was she right or was she wrong? How can one really tell what the future holds and to know if those mistakes are really mistakes. If she could tell you now of that decision, she probably would say, it is better to know for sure than to always wonder.
Labels: friendship, Love
posted by Sonya @ 3/18/2007 11:18:00 AM, ,
To My Love....AstroTurf
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Many of you may not know my beloved. Him and I are ocean and sand. I must admit that we spent many an evenings together in the dim-lit room laughing and joking with all my heart's desire. You see, he is the Adonis that I have always wanted. Oh, how to describe thee. I would begin by describing him as a 5'2 stud of pure man. He smiles, showing nothing but the slightly small gap in his teeth, but it's a smile of love. His laugh, oh how to describe the laugh that makes his slightly rounded belly shake. It is infectious, you can't help but to laugh. But most of all, my beloved comes barring gifts. He brings the sweet nectar that makes me giddy. My love tries to bring his mother and I together to speak of all the wonderful qualities my love has. Now, who couldn't love a man like that. But more importantly, he shows me how much he cares by willingly and lovingly showing me the pictures of the men's butts he has on his cell phone. You see, my beloveds day job is to take care of the AstroTurf for the Cinn. Reds. And to show me that he sits in the dugout, he took pictures. Nothing but butt! The love makes me tear up....
Ok...Clarification, beloved is the waiter at the local eatery/bar we go to. He is 5'2, gaped tooth, slightly rounded, and has offered to let me talk with his mother. To clear the air, I did not find that sweet and the laugh is not WITH him. The sweet nectar is the alcohol that I ordered and pay for. It makes me giddy for obvious reasons. And...the pictures on his cell phone are indeed as described. Ladies, he is single if you want him (big shocker).
Labels: Friday Nights, Love
posted by Sonya @ 3/13/2007 12:07:00 PM, ,
Dear God,
| So, I'm going to ask the question that everyone wants to know.....it must be asked....so, God, where exactly do the skittles fall from and why haven't I found that rainbow. I see so many people stumbling on it on TV and everyone knows that TV is real. Just as Oprah and Montel. They are all about helping people. Sad to hear Springer went fake on us...It is fake right? Next you'll shatter my world by telling me that wrestling isn't real. So, now would be a good time to show your face. We are starting to wonder what happened to you. Ohhh, you know a way to really get everyones attention, show up at a NASCAR race and don't let anyone's car turn left. That would be a good one. Anyway, just excited about the skittles rainbow thing, I started rambling. Life is good up there? Sorry, stupid question, how could it not be. There must be nothing like pulling the strings and watching the funny monkeys dance. Speaking of funny monkeys, you really got us good with President Bush. Talk about making some waves (nothing like Moses, but you know...that's already been done). He is really good at screwing things up down here. I know, I know, you have a sense of humor. Kinda like that time you had the bus come by and put a tidal wave over me on my way to class. Boy, I would have laughed too (once I dried out, I in fact did just that). So back to those little questions, some of us were wondering just how the dinosaurs exactly went extinct and if you could drop a few lines about Stonehenge that would be great too. Hope all is well and maybe you could turn down the thermostat just a tad, getting a little warm and losing some islands down here. Thanks, look forward to hearing from you soon. Sincerely, Working on Her Wings in Kentucky. |
posted by Sonya @ 3/13/2007 11:42:00 AM, ,
Why oh Why Do You Do The Things That You Do...
Monday, March 12, 2007
| Alright...Men out there, apparently we need to have this talk. I thought that you were going to figure this one out on your own, but apparently....it's a no go. So here it is. Do not, I repeat, Do not make those moves that you see in the movies. There is a reason why they are in the movies. It is because.....say it with me......they are stupid, obvious and retarded moves. So here we go, since I need to spell it out for you..... Moves to not use while on the first or first few dates...... Yawn/Arm Stretch Move: When you stretch your arm and casually lay it behind our heads, it is not a smooth move. So, just in case you missed my message so far, we did see it, we are not impressed and the people behind you are not laughing at the movie. Suggestion: Just look at her, pick up your arm and place it behind her head while giving her that cute/sexy smile that got her to go out with you in the first place. It shows confidence and that you want to be closer. And just in case you were thinking about it, do not make it a quick one-fluid-motion without eye-contact, catch-her-off-guard move. We hate that! That is uncomfortable since the girl has to now plot on how to remove your arm without causing a scene. Accidental Popcorn/Hand Grab Move: Many guys like to think that they are smooth by waiting for the female to go for some popcorn and then 'accidentally' reaching at the same time. Then they take this as a good opportunity to grab for her hand to 'hold hands' and be romantic. First thing wrong with this....her hand and your hand are greasy. Hello...common sense would say that she wants popcorn, not to be attached. And this is especially bad if she has just grabbed a handful which you have now squished in her palm. Second, this is not a smooth move and she can tell you were waiting to make your move. It's like setting a bait trap and then jumping on the unsuspecting prey when they go for it....not cool. Thus, when you are planning an all-important 'pounce', don't. Suggestion: Wait for the right moment. Truth is, most women will give the sign that they would like contact, such as, placing her hand on her leg close to your hand. This shows that it would take little work for you to move your hand and grab hers. Plus, you know she is open for the contact. Surprising her with popcorn bait is not the way to make her yours. The Casual Bump While Walking: I have to admit, this move may work for some men. However, it requires some finesse. There are guys out there that can handle the subtle 'bump the girl' and then quickly grab her as if to stabilize her, allowing for the arm to go around in one smooth fluid motion. I know many of you out there are amazed and are writing this down to try it out. Stop! Even though it seems simple, let me explain why you should not try this. Picture this....You and the one you like (but can't imagine how to make a smooth move) are walking down the sidewalk after a wonderful, yet unproductive evening. Your scheming mind is frantically trying to figure out how to get your arm around her without looking to obvious. Your latest try of "are you cold?" was casually brushed off when she said no. You are now at a loss. Yet, you remember this move seen in the movies and you are about to try it. You step away and then subtlety step towards her to slightly bump her. However, your idiot brain didn't take into account that she is wearing high heels (to impress you) and is not currently paying attention for your ambush. To your horror, your bump has sent her flying away in the direction of the force you applied and that, in combination with her wobbly shoes, did not allow for your quick grab. Your swept of her feet lady (literally) has landed in an uncomfortable position on the sidewalk. You are speechless and she is embarrassed, angry....etc, you get the point. So now what? It's hard to put your arm around her when she is now limping with one heel broken after stepping in a crack in the sidewalk on her way down. Your moment has passed and so has future dates. Suggestion: While walking with her, casually and lightly touch her arm with the back of your hand. Then slowly run your hand down her arm and smoothly grab her hand. Once this move is successful, wait a few moments and then casually remove your hand and drape it over her shoulder. Mission complete.....no injuries. The Whisper Lean Sneak: There are many times that this one will also work. It is a common enough move, but it never happens as you see it in the movies. Movies: The man is dying to kiss the woman and he seductively looks at her, acts like he has something to say, she leans and he quickly and smoothly kisses her on the lips. She gets embarrassed but likes it and he is confident of his moves. Reality: First and foremost, she is not expecting it. If you make her think you are going to say something, she will look at you and is expecting to hear what you just can't wait to tell her. You lean in, she leans in, and just when you are about to give her the smoocheroo, she opens her mouth to say "what?" or more embarrassingly, moves her head to hear better. After all, it is a secret. Yup, you have either kissed her open mouth, while yours in closed or got a big mouth full of hair. If you were lucky, you didn't stick your tongue up her nose or give her chin a good wash. Rarely do these moves come across as smoothly as they look. Again, unless you are Humphrey Bogart or James Dean, you might as well stick with the common man moves. Suggestion, look her in the eyes and slowly move in. Or, try the sweet innocent kiss on the cheek (testing the waters for more) and then slowly and sweetly move in for the big bang. The Seatbelt Sneak: There are many ways of initiating that first kiss. I cannot stress enough that it should not be while trying to buckle her seatbelt. First, she is an adult and can manage it herself while you look retarded by helping. Second, it is an awkward position to try a kiss. After you lean in and initiate the so important, decide if you'll ever see her again kinda kiss, you nonchalantly try to cup her cheek only to be thwarted by your seatbelt holding your arm away in mid air struggling to be free. As you try to fight the seatbelt holding you away from your beloved....you are not paying attention to the one putting every moment into memory. Don't misunderstand, a man fighting with the seatbelt while trying to seductively kiss a girl is a great romance starter. I love the almost-but-not-quite-paying attention moves that end with him seductively licking my right nostril. You can never have too many nose kisses. Suggestion: Try kissing her before you open her door or after you open her door. Again, both these suggestions occur outside the car in a more 'I'm paying attention to just you' sort of move. Trust me on this one, we are paying attention and spastic is not a turn-on. Fix the Collar: If there were any of these moves that I think might work....for the right guy, it might be this one. We are all often at the end of the date where both want that goodnight kiss. She casually picks off lint of his coat and he carelessly straightens her collar. This smooth man lightly runs his hands around the collar of her jacket (to act like it was incorrectly folded) and then meets both his hands behind her head. This leads to the slow, all consuming eye-contact move of gently pulling her into his embrace for the one heel kick-up kiss. For you non-smooth and most likely lucky to get this date kinda guy, it will not go like this. You will reach in, go to smooth her coat, only to yank a little to hard on the collar in fixing it since you are nervous. The head yank she just experienced has made her a little wary and she tries to step back. However, you are in the middle of your gently (but come across as another yank) towards you and she is forced against your chest. She is about to protest but you descend in on her while she is trying to get away. Not exactly the smooth way you wanted to make her want your kiss. Suggestion: For those of you out there that can read the signs, this may work for you. But you have to remember that slow and casual is the way, you must put the nerves aside and realize your strength. If you think you might botch this all important moment, then casually take her hands, pull them to your chest and place them around your neck. This gives her time to withdrawal and still gives you the perfect setting to make her kick her heel up. Men, if you find yourself about to employ any of these moves, proceed with caution. Those happy ending are most often seen in the movies, and I don't recall any of my girlfriends talking blissfully about any nostril cleanings or sidewalk plummets in the recent history. You my friend, would be discussed only in the " I had this date once" category and that is never a good place to be..... |
Labels: Dating, First Date, Humor, Moves
posted by Sonya @ 3/12/2007 11:42:00 AM, ,
A Noble Act...
Friday, March 9, 2007
| There is a blog out there that I read often....and you can probably guess is mostly about animals and why we love them. Pam (the blogger) left some very nice comments on my blog concerning the death of Cia and also made wonderful comments on her blog (here) about why we choose to go through the things that we do. I would like to say thank you. As the week progresses, I find myself able smile more and cry less. I find this as a positive sign that I am able to remember the great moments and hurt less over the empty void.... But the reason I write this, is not to reminisce on Cia, but to commend those that adopt older or animals in need. This is a far more noble act than adopting a puppy. There are many people out there that take in animals that no one really wants. And if not for these great people, no one would.... When I went to adopt my cat from a shelter, there were a couple of rooms just for cats with special needs. Things such as respiratory problems or feline AIDS (not like human AIDS) are what kept these cats from the general population and from being adopted. These animals, if they are so lucky to go into a shelter, will spend many of their remaining days in seclusion and then be put to sleep. There are many people out there that are able to care for these types of animals. I have a great respect for those who can and do. We often turn a blind eye to those animals in need of rescue. How many were distraught over all the animals left without homes after Katrina hit Louisiana? There are many people all around the country that took in animals from that horrible catastrophe. It is very commendable and I truly respect these people. Had I the money to support another animal, my home would have had a few more additions! But more to the intent of this blog....Older dogs have the least likely chance of leaving a shelter. Can you imagine going from a happy home where you love someone, to a cold place where no one cares? I cannot, and to those people who open their hearts and homes to them....thank you! |
I think Pam said it best with this..."Heaven - all the animals that ever loved you will be waiting at the gate!". If they are not there, then I don't want to go!! (http://auntpama.blogspot.com/)
Remember...It is not just humans who suffer by human hands....
posted by Sonya @ 3/09/2007 03:04:00 PM, ,
Eli and Emma
As you probably noticed from past blogs...I am a true animal lover. There is nothing that I enjoy more than watching or spending time with the many personalities that animals have and always share. My respect for them mostly come from the fact that they are always honest. In the world today, we don't know who to trust. When we do trust, we are often betrayed which leaves a scar whether it is internal or external always reminding us of our mistake. It is because of the unconditional love and honesty that explains why I allow the joy and pain that comes with loving animals. But do not think for one moment that I regret my decision..... This is the story of Eli and Emma...... Eli: Eli is a cat that suffered in the past. For some reason, people in the past were not nice to him. I have never understood how people could be mean to animals or other people that cannot defend themselves, but that is a whole other issue. So, Eli now has a home where he can do whatever he likes without dire consequences (my shredded chair proves this fact). Our history started together when he was about a year old. I took him in and we bonded immediately. I think our immediate bonding was due to my living alone in Chicago in a studio apartment and his never having stability. In the beginning, we spent a lot of time together while I was taking classes and working on my Master's thesis.  The thesis project we did together....him trying to find a comfortable spot....and me trying to find that missing research paper.....  |
Emma: Emma has a similar history. Someone dumped her and her sisters/brothers out on the street in downtown Chicago. Some didn't survive, mainly because they were less than 4 months old. She managed to survive the few days/weeks they were out there and a nice person picked her up and dropped her off at a cat shelter. This is where I found her. She was locked up in a little cage because she was sick and so small. I saw her and knew she would be a great match for Eli. Even as sick as she was, all she wanted was to be out of that cage and she let everyone know this, as loud as she possibly could. I knew the the match for Eli could be any cat, as long as they would love him back. Eli loves everyone and anything as long as they aren't mean to him....so this was the one condition for the new cat....they had to love him. I immediately told the people that I would take her....
I picked Emma up the next day and brought her home. It was love at first site...for Eli, of course. He never left her side, even though she wanted nothing to do with him. She hissed and moved away from him constantly....but this he didn't see.....he just wanted to be close. He was even driven to the drastic measures of doing run by lickings, just to get a lick in to show her how much he cared. You could see his careful planning of these 'attacks'.
I don't think that is was she didn't like him, but more that she still didn't feel good. I was giving her antibiotics and other medications, but she became sicker and sicker with the passing days. She started to look worse and had to be returned to the hospital. I called everyday, but they were not hopeful. Eli and I were both very sad each time we called and they explained she was a little worse than the day before. And since Eli had a piece of heaven, he was now miserable and cried non-stop. Things were very unhappy in my apartment. When we had both started to give up hope, after 7 days, Emma started to make a comeback. She finally started eating and drinking on her own (had tubes in while in the hospital) again and put on weight slowly. Eli and I checked on her everyday and patiently waited until she could come home.
Finally the day came when she could come back. She slowly adjusted and Eli watched her every move....
This story ends on a happy note. Over a year has passed and Eli and Emma are here with me in KY. They are inseparable. From the moment Emma came back, Eli has become her shadow and we both know that life without Emma would be torture. If she is even missing from the apartment for a moment, everyone hears about it. He regularly cleans her head and neck to show how much he cares and they always spend their time together. They make my life bearable these days....
posted by Sonya @ 3/09/2007 01:47:00 PM, ,
Tell Me You Didn't Say Goodbye.....
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
There are some types of pain that just don't seem to lessen with passing time. There are moments when you feel that someone has ripped your heart out and you cannot remember how to breathe. There are moments that you will never forget since they stop you your tracks and turns your world so upside down that you forget who you are. That moment came on Monday at 7:58 AM, March 5, 2007 when the person on the phone told me....Cia died this morning.
My little girl is gone. My Mom and Stepdad were with her when she took her last breath, never letting her feel alone in those last moments or that we'd forget her. She was supposed to beat the odds...we were supposed to say they don't know everything and go out for that morning run. Why couldn't they be wrong this time?? This isn't supposed to be this hard.
Many would say that she was just a dog...but that she was not. She was my comfort when I gave up one life to start another. She was my running partner, my passenger seat navigator and the one that could make you feel better in any circumstance. Trips were fun just because of her enthusiasm. I can't begin to explain how much of an empty spot has been left in our lives. Home doesn't seem like home without her. How do you say goodbye to something that is such a part of your life, that you can't remember the days when she wasn't there. This is Cia......
Possessions....
There were no fine lines...she owned everything. From the towel to the cats themselves. She may not want it this moment, but if you do....then she really does. Apparently all things that move (and somethings that do not) were hers. That chair by the window will always be her lookout point. And if you are so rude as to put the blinds down, you will not forget again in the near future. If you happen to sit there....you will soon move.....you can only stand a dog's butt in your face for so long and she knew this. It didn't matter how many times you pushed her down, her stamina is greater than yours.
Food....
She may not want it, but you can't have it. If it's there for the taking, then she takes it, but puts it away where you can't have it. She hid and 'buried' (carpet and hardwood floors apparently make things invisible) everything and anything in all corners of the house, RV and yard for the future. It's almost as if she lived through the depression and was waiting for the bottom to drop out. I must admit....that under no circumstances would she eat eggs. She hates them. If you tricked her to take a bite, she just opened her mouth and let them fall out, waiting for whatever came next.
Adventures...
It didn't matter if we were going to the mailbox or Maine, she was up for the ride. She was a very obedient dog...well sort of. You could get her to go into the backseat, but she just turned right around and came back up to the front seat. She fully expected you to move you arms and make a place for her on the front seat. You were to hold her if you were rude enough to take her seat. That is her place and that is that. And again, her stamina is greater than yours, she will sit in the front seat.
RV Trips....
She lived for those moments that we were all were packed up and ready for the open road. Her anxiety started the minute you opened the RV door. She was so afraid that you were going to leave without her, she didn't leave the fence in the backyard and barked herself hoarse. When the trip finally came, she bounded out of the house, up the RV stairs and took over her place on the dashboard looking straight ahead. How could they possible go without the dashboard navigator. She was even kind enough to let us all know when the curves were coming by starting the lean a little early. After the trip was underway, she checked all her food stashes in the corners just to make sure she had enough for emergencies and quickly returned to the dashboard.
The Golden Arches......
Never before have I seen a dog get so excited for the McDonalds golden arches. My little sister used to take her with her to McDonalds. Cia soon associated golden arches with a small piece of heaven. When passing them, you could almost hear her say that you missed the turn in. She loved them and got into position to speak with the drive-thru operator. This was her job. She wanted those fries and cheeseburger that came in that magic wrapper. She was patient enough to carefully separate the buns and remove the top bun containing the pickle and onions. The rest was history.
Leaving her in the car....
If you made this mistake....you soon found out why this was a mistake. She knew exactly where the horn was and she wasn't afraid to use it. She enjoyed finding the button and standing on it. Whether it was the RV, the CRV or any other car. You leave her.....you're going to hear it. And if you even think about coming out of that store without a beef jerky, then you might as well turn right back around and get it, because she wasn't getting out of the driver seat until you did. That is just the way things were....no use fighting it.
Kisses.....
I truly believed she lived to give these. If the one goal God gave her when she was born...it was to give as many kisses as possible. She had a way of sneaking them in. She liked the quick kiss while you weren't paying attention. She had a great way of slipping them in when you turned your head to talk to someone in the car. Just a quick peck and then back to her seat. When she really wanted to let you know how much she cared, she would inch toward you and when you said no...she'd just stare...mere inches from your face until you couldn't stand it anymore.
The Hello....and a quick game of hide-and-seek.....
Cia loved my mom with an undying, unending love. There was nothing that made her happier than Grandma coming home. She waited at the window until she pulled in, the ran to the door and screamed at the top of her lungs when Grandma walked in the door. And just in case Mom didn't get the message, Cia would run as fast as she could all around the house and out the doggy door. Then she would follow Grandma into the bedroom and run out again. While she was out, Grandma would hide and Cia would search for her. They did this each and everyday and they were inseparable until it was time to go to bed. And don't even think about moving the stool she used to get into bed.....
Her Protector...
Marty (Stepdad) took care of her better than anyone else could. Cia loved him with everything she had. He cared for her so much that she looked to him in those last moments. She knew how much he loved her and would have done everything to protect her. They spent many hours together on the weekends out in the backyard doing the regular chores...and nothing made Cia happier. In those snowy days in Chicago, Cia had a hard time running in the deep snow. She would have to hop like a rabbit and it made her so cold that she couldn't be out there very long. So, Marty made her a maze of shoveled snow so she could run around them and enjoy being outside. It was not just one or two tunnels, but many all over the backyard. She loved them. He took care of her.....
Her Toys....
They were just that....hers. You were in not, any circumstance, allowed to touch them. We loved to buy her toys. She got so excited, especially if they talked to her. It's almost as if they were talking back and she couldn't stand for that. She would rip out the recorder and then proceed to remove all the stuffing. Even after it was just a shell...it was still hers. She gathered up all her toys and put them in a pile in the backyard. She then proceeded to lay on top of the pile so that no one could touch any of her toys. Whether cat, human, or some animal crossing within yards of her toys in the backyard....you were not allowed near her toy pile. Many afternoons were spent spreading her toy pile around the yard and watching her frantically trying to pile them all up again so she could lay on them.
Sleeping arrangements.....
She was going to sleep and you were going to make arrangements. She snored due to a breathing problem...but that was your problem not hers. If she wanted ample room and possibly a pillow (depending on her mood) ....you had to deal with it. Again, the stamina issue came into play. She would win and she knew it.
Together....
Cia wanted us all together at all times. She didn't like it when the family was in different spots in the house. If you were in the basement and Mom and Marty were upstairs, then she whined at the top of the stairs until you came up. She would win, she knew you could only handle so much of that. She wanted her family together....
Waiting for us to get home....
There was nothing greater than someone coming home. When one got home, it was off to waiting for the next. She loved Grandma coming home and then expected Grandpa. When that happened, her world was somehow coming together. When Marty went away on business trips Cia would not sleep. Instead, she would sit up in bed and just stare at my Mom like she chased him away or something. It's almost as if she had an accusatory expression and somehow made Grandpa go away. Life didn't get better than when everyone was home. When Mom would tell her I was coming home, she would go and check the window waiting for me to come in the door over and over again until I finally arrived. Family is what mattered most....
Love......
She loved her family and we loved her more than I can ever express. She was a child to us. She was what you came home for. She brought a life to that house that I can't describe by listing some of her unique qualities. I loved her more than I can possibly explain in words and the loss has left such an empty hole that I don't know how to fix it. So, this is for someone that has given my family so much in the last four years that I don't know how to say 'Goodbye'. She has taken a part of my heart and left a pain that I can't seem to deal with. For Cia.....having her made everything a little better.....
My little girl is gone. My Mom and Stepdad were with her when she took her last breath, never letting her feel alone in those last moments or that we'd forget her. She was supposed to beat the odds...we were supposed to say they don't know everything and go out for that morning run. Why couldn't they be wrong this time?? This isn't supposed to be this hard.
Many would say that she was just a dog...but that she was not. She was my comfort when I gave up one life to start another. She was my running partner, my passenger seat navigator and the one that could make you feel better in any circumstance. Trips were fun just because of her enthusiasm. I can't begin to explain how much of an empty spot has been left in our lives. Home doesn't seem like home without her. How do you say goodbye to something that is such a part of your life, that you can't remember the days when she wasn't there. This is Cia......
Possessions....
There were no fine lines...she owned everything. From the towel to the cats themselves. She may not want it this moment, but if you do....then she really does. Apparently all things that move (and somethings that do not) were hers. That chair by the window will always be her lookout point. And if you are so rude as to put the blinds down, you will not forget again in the near future. If you happen to sit there....you will soon move.....you can only stand a dog's butt in your face for so long and she knew this. It didn't matter how many times you pushed her down, her stamina is greater than yours.
Food....
She may not want it, but you can't have it. If it's there for the taking, then she takes it, but puts it away where you can't have it. She hid and 'buried' (carpet and hardwood floors apparently make things invisible) everything and anything in all corners of the house, RV and yard for the future. It's almost as if she lived through the depression and was waiting for the bottom to drop out. I must admit....that under no circumstances would she eat eggs. She hates them. If you tricked her to take a bite, she just opened her mouth and let them fall out, waiting for whatever came next.
Adventures...
It didn't matter if we were going to the mailbox or Maine, she was up for the ride. She was a very obedient dog...well sort of. You could get her to go into the backseat, but she just turned right around and came back up to the front seat. She fully expected you to move you arms and make a place for her on the front seat. You were to hold her if you were rude enough to take her seat. That is her place and that is that. And again, her stamina is greater than yours, she will sit in the front seat.
RV Trips....
She lived for those moments that we were all were packed up and ready for the open road. Her anxiety started the minute you opened the RV door. She was so afraid that you were going to leave without her, she didn't leave the fence in the backyard and barked herself hoarse. When the trip finally came, she bounded out of the house, up the RV stairs and took over her place on the dashboard looking straight ahead. How could they possible go without the dashboard navigator. She was even kind enough to let us all know when the curves were coming by starting the lean a little early. After the trip was underway, she checked all her food stashes in the corners just to make sure she had enough for emergencies and quickly returned to the dashboard.
The Golden Arches......
Never before have I seen a dog get so excited for the McDonalds golden arches. My little sister used to take her with her to McDonalds. Cia soon associated golden arches with a small piece of heaven. When passing them, you could almost hear her say that you missed the turn in. She loved them and got into position to speak with the drive-thru operator. This was her job. She wanted those fries and cheeseburger that came in that magic wrapper. She was patient enough to carefully separate the buns and remove the top bun containing the pickle and onions. The rest was history.
Leaving her in the car....
If you made this mistake....you soon found out why this was a mistake. She knew exactly where the horn was and she wasn't afraid to use it. She enjoyed finding the button and standing on it. Whether it was the RV, the CRV or any other car. You leave her.....you're going to hear it. And if you even think about coming out of that store without a beef jerky, then you might as well turn right back around and get it, because she wasn't getting out of the driver seat until you did. That is just the way things were....no use fighting it.
Kisses.....
I truly believed she lived to give these. If the one goal God gave her when she was born...it was to give as many kisses as possible. She had a way of sneaking them in. She liked the quick kiss while you weren't paying attention. She had a great way of slipping them in when you turned your head to talk to someone in the car. Just a quick peck and then back to her seat. When she really wanted to let you know how much she cared, she would inch toward you and when you said no...she'd just stare...mere inches from your face until you couldn't stand it anymore.
The Hello....and a quick game of hide-and-seek.....
Cia loved my mom with an undying, unending love. There was nothing that made her happier than Grandma coming home. She waited at the window until she pulled in, the ran to the door and screamed at the top of her lungs when Grandma walked in the door. And just in case Mom didn't get the message, Cia would run as fast as she could all around the house and out the doggy door. Then she would follow Grandma into the bedroom and run out again. While she was out, Grandma would hide and Cia would search for her. They did this each and everyday and they were inseparable until it was time to go to bed. And don't even think about moving the stool she used to get into bed.....
Her Protector...
Marty (Stepdad) took care of her better than anyone else could. Cia loved him with everything she had. He cared for her so much that she looked to him in those last moments. She knew how much he loved her and would have done everything to protect her. They spent many hours together on the weekends out in the backyard doing the regular chores...and nothing made Cia happier. In those snowy days in Chicago, Cia had a hard time running in the deep snow. She would have to hop like a rabbit and it made her so cold that she couldn't be out there very long. So, Marty made her a maze of shoveled snow so she could run around them and enjoy being outside. It was not just one or two tunnels, but many all over the backyard. She loved them. He took care of her.....
Her Toys....
They were just that....hers. You were in not, any circumstance, allowed to touch them. We loved to buy her toys. She got so excited, especially if they talked to her. It's almost as if they were talking back and she couldn't stand for that. She would rip out the recorder and then proceed to remove all the stuffing. Even after it was just a shell...it was still hers. She gathered up all her toys and put them in a pile in the backyard. She then proceeded to lay on top of the pile so that no one could touch any of her toys. Whether cat, human, or some animal crossing within yards of her toys in the backyard....you were not allowed near her toy pile. Many afternoons were spent spreading her toy pile around the yard and watching her frantically trying to pile them all up again so she could lay on them.
Sleeping arrangements.....
She was going to sleep and you were going to make arrangements. She snored due to a breathing problem...but that was your problem not hers. If she wanted ample room and possibly a pillow (depending on her mood) ....you had to deal with it. Again, the stamina issue came into play. She would win and she knew it.
Together....
Cia wanted us all together at all times. She didn't like it when the family was in different spots in the house. If you were in the basement and Mom and Marty were upstairs, then she whined at the top of the stairs until you came up. She would win, she knew you could only handle so much of that. She wanted her family together....
Waiting for us to get home....
There was nothing greater than someone coming home. When one got home, it was off to waiting for the next. She loved Grandma coming home and then expected Grandpa. When that happened, her world was somehow coming together. When Marty went away on business trips Cia would not sleep. Instead, she would sit up in bed and just stare at my Mom like she chased him away or something. It's almost as if she had an accusatory expression and somehow made Grandpa go away. Life didn't get better than when everyone was home. When Mom would tell her I was coming home, she would go and check the window waiting for me to come in the door over and over again until I finally arrived. Family is what mattered most....
Love......
She loved her family and we loved her more than I can ever express. She was a child to us. She was what you came home for. She brought a life to that house that I can't describe by listing some of her unique qualities. I loved her more than I can possibly explain in words and the loss has left such an empty hole that I don't know how to fix it. So, this is for someone that has given my family so much in the last four years that I don't know how to say 'Goodbye'. She has taken a part of my heart and left a pain that I can't seem to deal with. For Cia.....having her made everything a little better.....
Labels: Animals, Death, Dogs, Love, Pain
posted by Sonya @ 3/06/2007 09:07:00 PM, ,
