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If only it could end differently....
Wednesday, February 14, 2007



For most of us, life slips by and we forget about the things that are really important to us, especially, with distance as a factor. And it is with a heavy heart that I tell you about Cia. I can honestly say there will never be another like her. She is my pride and joy and one of my many wishes, that life could be different....

Cia has had it harder than most dogs and it started that way from the very beginning. Four years ago, my boyfriend (at the time) and I were out shopping for supplies that we need for work on our house. So while we were out, he saw a sign at the pet shop for hedgehogs. He really, really wanted to see them and I really, really did not want to (for completely different reasons). As many of you probably know from past blogs, animals are my weakness. I knew that there was no way I was walking into that pet shop and walking out with nothing in my hands. My past has shown that this is the way it will always be. I don't think it has ever been done, so it is better that I not test the inevitable. But, stupid won and off we went to the pet shop. It took no more than 3 minutes for me to see a tiny little puppy all alone in a big cage. She was crying her little heart out for a little attention. It seems that all her brothers and sisters had been sold days to weeks before and she was scared and lonely.

This girl was adorable, with her half beagle and half Australian Shepard looks. She had the little beagle characteristics, but a Shepard coloring of the black and white checkers. Luckily, not the beagle bark and she most often went hoarse after just a few barks. All you see is her intense concentration on the perpetrator (human to wind) and her head being thrown in the air with the mute button on. I played with this little puppy and absolutely fell in love with her. With a clear head and rational thoughts, I reasoned that we were still completely remodeling the house and cleaning up after the boyfriend was enough. With that, I left the puppy at the pet shop and we picked up our needed supplies. As you can probably guess, a supply was added to that list: # 15...puppy.... before we even had a chance to finish the shopping. Not even 20 minutes later, she was in my arms and we were on our way home.

From day one, she was special. I named her Cia and she became the center of my world. She slept in the bed every night. Not at the end, not by my legs, but next to me with her head on a pillow and a blanket pulled to her shoulders. And it was this way, just because she was Cia and it didn't need explanation. Boyfriend didn't care for this much, but I slowly explained to him that he had just been demoted on the priority list and this was just the way things were going to be. After all, it was his fault we had the dog now, wasn't' it?

In the beginning, I would carry her around in the pocket on the front of my sweatshirt and boyfriend carried her in his hat. Cia was so small that she often fell into the vent holes in the floor. We had to cover all the vents so we wouldn't lose her. She was special in many ways and the first came just weeks after we got her. It turns out that our dear Cia had an extra toe on her back foot. Maybe it's for luck, or just to show that she is special.....who knows......

The day to day routine went on as usual and Cia grew over the next few months. At about six months, she started limping on her back leg. As any normal pet owner, I checked her out, no cuts or bruises and I waited a few days. The limp remained... so off to the vet she went. The vet did an extensive examination and couldn't find anything with my sweet baby girl. The next step was she went in for X-rays. Unluckily, they found that she did not have the space in her back leg where the knee-cap goes. The cartilage from her knee-cap was rubbing back and forth on her leg bone, causing the inflammation. We were referred to a bone specialist which brought more X-rays and tests. Ultimately, the choice was, let her live in pain and get arthritis in a year or two or get knee surgery to fix the problem that would cost $1400. I told boyfriend of the new development...we discussed it and he said absolutely not to the surgery. She was scheduled for the surgery one week later.......

Cia went in for surgery on Monday. I dropped her off at 8:00 in the morning and she was scheduled for 8:00 the next morning. They need to do all the routine tests and prep her for surgery. At 3:00 that same day, the hospital called and asked to me stop in after work. When I arrived, the vet came out and explained that Cia could not have surgery. If we had went ahead with the surgery, her body wouldn't have been able to handle the anesthetic and she would have died almost immediately. This is because Cia has a hole in her heart. They say, that because of this, she will only live 4-5 years due to her heart not being able to handle the strain of trying to work so hard and this will ultimately lead to organ failure.

My little 6 month old puppy, has an extra toe, a bad knee and a hole in her heart. This was one of the hardest days of my life. She was so happy to see me and be freed from jail, that even if she could understand what I needed to tell her, I wouldn't have been able to through all my tears. With a very heavy heart, I took my little baby girl home and told myself that she would overcome it. That she is a fighter and we will show them what she can do.

About 2 years later, Cia and I made the move after I left the boyfriend. We started our lives over in another state with new experiences to be had. We both moved in with my mom until I could find an apartment. She ended up staying with my mom and step-dad outside of Chicago, since they had a nice big backyard and I lived in a high rise apartment downtown. During that time, Cia spent many days riding on the front seat with Mom where ever they may go and many afternoons with Marty doing nothing in the backyard. They took trips in the RV to the land in Iowa on lazy summer afternoons, always a trio never a duo. It even so happens that when the snow really falls there in the suburbs, Marty makes Cia a nice little maze all around the yard since she is so short and has to hop like a rabbit to get any where. So, there is nothing more amusing than seeing a dog run as fast as she can through a labrinth of mazes for no reason at all. These three developed a bond that I could not break.

Years later, I made another move, to Kentucky, but this time without her. I could not take her away when they loved her as much as I did, and could give her so much more of everything. She is and always will be one of the best moments of my life. It's funny how something we consider beneath us can mean so much more than anything else.

The years went by and Cia is now in her 4th year. She is happy and enjoying life as we speak.
I write this now, because with distance we often forget those things most important to us until we must face what is in front of us.

I am sad to say, we do not always get what we want in this world.....Cia is sick.

Just as they told me so long ago, she seems to be suffering from Renal failure. They have explained that her little body just can't overcome the heart problem. Besides the weight loss, you would never guess there is anything wrong. She still patrols the fence and buries all her dog food in multiple places in the yard, just to prepare for a possible depression. She even manages to find time to make all the cats submit to her ear cleanings.

But we are hopeful that the new food, medicine and diet will help her. If she continues to not feel well, she is off to Madison (the 'Mayo clinic' for dogs). I find myself sad and can't even begin to know what to do....

I guess I am trying to say, life slips by while others stand with us in support, not so much in our spotlight, but our shadows. We can become so caught up in our everyday lives that we forget to stop and say 'thank you' to a few or many. We must remember all who were there when our world's were changing and we were making decisions that didn't include them in the outcome. So for all of those that changed my life, I appreciate you and say thank you for just being there.....

I have loved this 'person' for many years as we have come to rely on each other when everything else was falling apart. Companionship is companionship in any form.....for that I am grateful.

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posted by Sonya @ 2/14/2007 09:42:00 PM,

6 Comments:

At February 15, 2007 at 3:32 AM, Blogger Neihal said...

My dog died a very painful death, he had a kidney failure. Such a sweetheart. He was in so much pain, and he never seemed to mind the numerous surgeries and vet. visits. Not once did I realise he ll go away just like that.
I can so relate to your post.
And I really really hope Cia gets better.

 
At February 15, 2007 at 9:40 AM, Blogger Sakshi said...

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
You had me grinning at the moniter and then I was staring at it with tears in my eyes..I hope she gets better.
And she is proof positive that you can committ to a long term relationship ;)

 
At February 15, 2007 at 2:16 PM, Blogger Pam said...

I too can relate to your post. What a sweetheart Cia is, so very much loved and she knows it!

Animals, I think, are God's gift to us. To have such a loving relationship with them is a blessing and I feel sorry for those who never experience that.

You are in my thoughts...I hope she gets better!

 
At February 16, 2007 at 12:27 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I can imagine how you feel. I so hope Cia gets better.

 
At February 21, 2007 at 11:16 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey... am a complete dog lover too - can imagine what you're going through , when I lost one of my doggies a while back it was like losing a sibling.

Anyway, hang in there! Hugs :))

 
At February 22, 2007 at 2:32 PM, Blogger Sonya said...

@neihal -- I am sorry to hear about your dog, no matter the circumstances, losing is still losing.

@ Sakshi -- You are right. I finally am able to commit. I am healed!! Thanks.

@Pam-- Thanks for the thought. In all honesty...without animals, I would have went postal many years ago. :)

@ Mohati -- Thanks...

@Melody -- It is exactly like losing a sibling. Loving them is so worth it though. Sorry to hear about your doggie....it never gets any easier, but worth it in the end. I wouldn't do it differently. Thanks for the comment. :)

 

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