A Letter...
Monday, September 17, 2007
As with anyone, I have many drawers containing stuff shoved away carelessly. Recently I was cleaning one of those storage drawers in my apartment and came across two letters. One written by me and the written to me. As I sat inside the closet reading moments from my past, I remembered the emotions that went with both. With each one, I sat there in the morning sun taking a walk down memory lane...reliving moments that I am glad have come to pass and thinking about the moments that led up to both of these very emotional letters.
For the first. I wrote this letter to let the words express my anger and animosity towards this other. From the first line, the words seem to take on a persona of their own, screaming and ranting as if this person is standing before you. In one big long paragraph, I spilled all those hurtful and forceful thoughts that I had held in for so long. I can clearly remember a sense of relief after I signed my name to this declaration. While calculating all the consequences of my actions, I felt justified and satisfied with the ending.
Although I meant every word written through each revised copy, I also remember placing this letter in the drawer to rethink the damage I was about to inflict on another. I can say that maybe I regret this, but the letter was never sent. Maybe I should have....
I remember writing those daggers that would forever separate this person and I and did not care then...nor do I now. Even years later, I feel that anger.
For the second. This took me to a much different place. A place I had left and never looked back to. As I sat re-reading this letter, I remembered this person and what it must have taken to pen the words upon the paper. I also remember those moments leading up to this fated letter. I sit and revel in the time and feelings that I sequestered away all those years ago. In this short note, scribbled upon a piece of notebook paper, one cannot miss the feeling that defeat has won. Although the feeling is apparent, the carefully chosen words portray someone that has finally given up and is ready to walk the other way.
You may wonder why I chose to save both of these letters. The first is to remind me of the many wrongs committed by this person in the past and the other is to remember a life that I chose to leave behind...
posted by Sonya @ 9/17/2007 03:30:00 PM,
2 Comments:
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At September 17, 2007 at 11:50 PM,
Priyavadan said...
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'in the past....'
'chose what to leave behind...'
it's always better it doesn't have a say in the present.
my 2 cents :) -
At September 20, 2007 at 11:31 PM,
said...
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I know what you mean.. since I keep memories like these around me too. They remind me where I came from and how far I have come. Touching!
