Apparently I Resemble A Terrorist
Friday, December 22, 2006
If Santa could grant me one wish, it would be to pass through an airport without being violated. Currently...Airports 23...Sonya 0. For those of you that don't know me...this might sound like nothing out of the ordinary..possibly just part of the governments way to stop terrorism. However, I understand the concept of profiling... I do not in any way fit into this category. Let me explain why I do not pose a threat. First... I am in every way American white bread. I am white...in looks, dress and all other mannerisms. Ok...so nothing there. Next, I am only 5 foot 3 inches, not exactly towering over the security officers. Ok...again..nothing there. Maybe it's the blond hair, in a pony tail and carrying a number of dorky science books. Yeah...that must be it....
It seems that I can travel amongst a large group of people wearing turbans, speaking another language and most likely carrying something making a large ticking noise and still ...you guessed it...I get the all-over frisking. Now..this might just sound like a typical traveler complaining..but this isn't just a once here and there occurance...nope...it's every time I fly. The delay often results in me having to tell people that I may be traveling with me to walk slowly, I'll be a minute...I see them giving me the eye. However, I must at this point acknowledge the thoroughness of those inspections. I have had less action on first dates and I almost always feel obligated to ask for their phone numbers or dinner after it's done.
It would be safe to say I am often a little bitter over this injustice...so how do I get them back. Oh the sweet revenge. On almost all traveling occasions, I make it a point to pack my suitcase so full that I have to sit on it and work it for 10-15 minutes to get a successful closure. And since they (the conspirators at the airport) insist on searching it each and every time...it is quite amusing to watch 2 or 3 grown men try to close my bag. But if I'm in a particularly bad mood from repeated violations...I make it a point to remember to pack my travel underwear (those not worn..just for falling out) just inside the zipper so that they are the first things to fall out and require stuffing back into the bag.
So, with all things in life...there is a life lesson to be learned..in this situation, it is of course to never mess with an intelligent woman...we have our ways!
Labels: Humor
posted by Sonya @ 12/22/2006 02:44:00 PM,
4 Comments:
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At December 22, 2006 at 3:47 PM,
Sakshi said...
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They just wanted to feel you up ;)
And I would not want them touching my underwear.. unless you had not washed it :/ -
At December 22, 2006 at 3:49 PM,
Sonya said...
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Should have been more specific..underwear that I do not wear..they are the travel underwear
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At December 22, 2006 at 7:37 PM,
said...
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So bought specifically to scatter at the airport? Bows down to the sheer genius of that thought
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At December 23, 2006 at 11:43 PM,
said...
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funny posts, gave me a giggle
