A Victim of Domestic Violence...
Friday, June 8, 2007
I do not often cry victim. However, there are times when everyone is assaulted by another for something that they apparently are guilty of doing. In many cases this is due to one simply getting their feeling hurt and lashing out at another. As though they feel this may be appropriate, it is not. Here is my story. First and foremost, I do not wish anyone to be angry at the man in my life. He felt neglected and hurt and lashed out in an inappropriate manner. I am trying to understand. Many of you may be baffled as to why I would share this story. I do not wish you to pass judgement, possibly just be aware of your actions in the future as I now am.
The incident occurred two weeks ago on a Thursday night. I had been out drinking with a friend of mine since I had had a bad day. As anyone does, I drowned my boy sorrows in the buy one, get one free margarita night here in town. For many, those two drinks would be enough...it was not the case for me on this particular night. I decided to take the nice waiter up on another round of drinks. The only thing better than two for one is four for two. The math is simple. Well, the night wore on and we talked about nothing important. We discussed all issues from politics to the lack of everything we decided to harp on, as many of those drunken nights go.
After many hours of talking we decided to pack it in and call it a night. I slowly stood up and gathered my things...did my best to locate the car (I obviously was not driving) and she dropped me off at my door.
I enter my apartment and say hello to my significant other...hoping the dramatics won't start again tonight. Lately I have been neglectful. I have been spending a lot of time outside of the apartment at school and with my friends. I realize my error in not being more considerate...I do acknowledge my part in the 'incident'.
I say hello, he is moody. The whining begins, the tantrums are what I expected and I feel guilt. This is the normal progression these days. He has a right to his feelings. If only we had worked through the issues before the escalation. I tried to devote some time in my drunken state and thought I was making progress but as with any good story there is a plot twist. The phone rang.
Most in this situation would have left the phone to fix the problems. I on the other hand answered the call and proceeded to have a very lengthy conversation. This is where I made my mistake.
I sat on the love seat, my head at the corner talking on the phone all lights off concentrating on putting two sentences together. It was at this moment that I felt the most blinding, earth-shattering pain in my forehead that I have ever felt. I was literally made sick to my stomach within seconds and felt my head for the gushing wound I expected to find. Luckily I did not find a wound, but I did feel a squishy knot the size of an egg on my forehead by my hair line. I started to panic....it felt bad and the headache was making me dizzy.
It took a few moments to locate the object used in the attack. I found that the vase weighing about 8 lbs was dropped from a height of about 5 feet onto my head. My first concern was a concussion, but I do not believe it was that bad. I honestly never thought I would say this, but I am glad that I was that intoxicated or that would have really hurt.
Many probably assume that we parted ways after this incident. I must say that I stayed to try and work it out. No words of apology have been muttered since that night. We have tried to continue our life and fix the problems, but I feel the tension in the bed at night. In the two weeks, the bump has receded to a smaller bump and the markings from the vase have disappeared. Our relationship is rocky and tense on most evenings. I feel that much of this is my fault and try to be a better person to him. He needs me. I should be better.
So my point is to explain first the large bump on my head and second that 8 lb vases can really hurt.
And to show that I still love my significant other I am showing a picture as a sign of my commitment in light of this incident....
posted by Sonya @ 6/08/2007 12:00:00 PM,
3 Comments:
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At June 8, 2007 at 12:37 PM,
Sakshi said...
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This is still funny. And the only time I will plead the abuser's case - I cant hate anything that is furry and sho cute :)
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At June 8, 2007 at 12:40 PM,
said...
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Hahaha.. nicely written.
Btw, shows the caring and sensitive side of you, that you will move mountains and take any crap to make the relationship work, if you truly love the man. ;) -
At June 8, 2007 at 3:44 PM,
Pam said...
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God that was funny!
